Settling in to Nursery: A Parent’s Guide

Even when you’ve asked all the right questions at a nursery viewing and figured out the best time for your child to start nursery, you and your child may still have some anxieties around settling into nursery.  

Whilst this can initially be daunting and stressful for all involved, we’re here to reassure you that this is a perfectly natural emotion to feel during this time. That’s why we’ve created this helpful guide to support you and your child as they settle into nursery.

Is nursery drop-off anxiety normal in children?

Anxiety during drop-offs is completely normal for children. It often comes in the form of crying and/or clinging to you when it’s time for drop-off, and it usually subsides as your child becomes more used to their new routine and surroundings. 

Whilst drop-off anxiety is completely normal and isn’t cause for concern, not every child will run into these issues. Some children will be completely happy exploring their new nursery from the very first minute. Both scenarios are healthy and natural, and there’s no cause for concern either way!

Why some children struggle when starting nursery

Struggling when starting nursery is usually because of ‘separation anxiety’, where unfamiliar environments, people and routines can cause uncertainty and discomfort at first. This term may sound scary as a parent, but it’s incredibly common given that your child has most likely been with or around you in familiar surroundings for the majority of their life so far. 

How parents can support their children before they even start nursery

To support your child before they even begin nursery, it’s a good idea to work on confidence with short separations, practice self-care and establish positive associations with the upcoming changes:

• Practice separation – If you haven’t already, leave your child with another family member or trusted friend for short bursts, so they can get used to being cared for by and interacting with multiple people. 
• Encourage independence – Encourage your child to practice tasks which increase independence like washing hands alone, putting on shoes/coats and tidying up after themselves. 
• Adjust routines – To counter anxieties caused by shifting routine, adjust your home schedule to match the nursery’s timings for naps, meal times, outdoor play and more. 
• Settling-in sessions – Visit the nursery together if possible, as this allows the child to explore their new environment and interact with new caregivers (more on this below). 

In general, anything which increases your child’s independence and confidence is beneficial to a child approaching a start at a new nursery.

Get in touch with us to learn more about our curriculum or to book a tour of one of our nurseries. 

Settling in sessions help with nursery anxiety

At Tiddlywinks, we offer bespoke settling in sessions designed to help children become familiar with their new environment, new faces and new routines at their own pace. These visits provide opportunities for children to explore the nursery, meet their key person, engage in activities and begin building relationships with our team before their official start date.

We recognise that every child is unique, so settling in sessions can be tailored to individual needs. By working closely with parents and carers, we can develop a gradual admission that helps children feel comfortable, secure and ready for their nursery journey.

The first few days and weeks at nursery: Settling in tips

There are some key tips to keep in mind to help your child settle in during the first few days and weeks at nursery. On top of the tips mentioned above to help before your child starts (practicing separation, encouraging independence, adjusting routines and settling in sessions), you should consider the following during the opening weeks:

• Include comfort items – Send your child in with their favourite toy, blanket, cuddly toy, or something else which provides them some comfort and familiarity during early days. 
• Gently ask questions – Softly communicate with your child before and after days at nursery, but don’t make it feel overwhelming. Encourage your child to tell you about their day (if possible). 
• Prepare for tiredness – As your child adjusts to starting nursery, they are likely to be very tired due to increased social interaction and activity. Try to keep evenings/weekends simple and relatively relaxed. 
• Stay calm – Even if your child is stressed, they will pick up on your emotions. It’s best to stay calm and help them to feel relaxed and confident. 
• Consistent handovers – Create predictable routines at drop-offs and pick-ups. Try to use the same ‘goodbye’ words and hugs every time, and manage emotions during pick-ups (where anxious children are likely to release all of the day’s emotions). 

How long does it take children to settle when starting nursery?

There is no specific amount of time it will take a child to settle in when starting nursery, as every child is different and unique. Part of our ethos at Tiddlywinks is to ensure every child feels safe and comfortable from the first minute, so hopefully they won’t take too long to settle in.

Typically, we’d suggest that it takes 2 – 4 weeks for a child to settle into a new nursery environment on average. For some children, it may only take a few days, or even hours. For others, it might be a longer process, which is where parent-carer communication is vital (and something we pride ourselves on).

How our nursery supports children settling in

At Tiddlywinks Nurseries, we support children settling in through a number of exercises, habits and activities. Your child will be assigned a key carer who will take care of their day-to-day integration, and pay close attention to your child’s needs and anxieties, as well as routines and interests. This nurturing relationship gives children a secure base from which to build confidence, explore and thrive.  

Our nursery environments also play an important role in helping children to settle in. We aim to foster a sense of calm, safety and curiosity which helps children to feel emotionally secure. Children learn best when they feel calm and happy, which is why we prioritise wellbeing and strong parent partnerships throughout every stage of your child’s journey with us. 

Book a nursery tour with Tiddlywinks to find out if we’re the right nursery for your child.